Friday, March 11, 2011

Trying to Explain...


Today was a very heavy heart day...we told lexi we were going to the store to get her a new baby a toy baby just for her to take of.Well her reaction to that was "i want my nolie! lets go get him!" we said nolie was in heaven in the sky watching over her.She then said"lets go get him and bring him home,pretty please." I held the tears back chocked up and explained to her that nolie was in a better place,that Nolie will no longer get sick and have needles in his arms making him have owiees.She said with a sad face "okay." I only wish we could bring him home.She has been so good about everything,but she's hurting for her baby brother to come back home somedays she thinks he is still at the "hosical"(hospital) and often tells me to get ready to go see him,it breaks me inside because the last time she got to see him while he was alive was in the hospital while he was struggling to breath.Then in his casket,i remember at the end of his service she whispered to nathan and I when we brought her up to see him again,"Nolies still sleeping?" i whispered back "yes hunny." I dont think she will ever forget her Nolie everyday she is making things just for him and of course we keep it all.Shes so amazing, i love my family.

1 comment:

  1. Amanda, I often think of you and your family. This new blog is amazing and so touching. I think Lexi is very lucky to have a little brother like Nolan, her life is and will be ever richer because of it. She is also very lucky to have you both as parents.

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